Kingdom of Splendour

by Sirlord Masterboss

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Bill Kole
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Bill Kole Great, honest rock record. Favorite track: Gamblin' Man.
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released September 5, 2013

Babymoon: vocals, guitar, tent caterpillar harmonica.
Sloth: guitar, tree.
Jacob Zoff: bass, drums, additional guitar, hardcore vocals on "Junior".
Frogthroat: vocals on "It's Gonna Hurt".

Recorded, mixed and mastered by April Hutchins at Muffin Studios, Montreal QC.
Cover artwork by Melanie Hutchins.



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Sirlord Masterboss

Canadian post-blues group featuring members of The Illuminati, Brain Size 61 and Mellevon.

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Track Name: Gamblin' Man
I’m trying to have a sweet conversation,
But who’s that coming from my right?
Some dude wants to cock block me
From this lovely sight.
I saw her first, and I’m not just flirting.
Can’t you see I’m a gambling man?

‘Cause no man’s gonna come in between
Me and my woman tonight.
I hit the stage, keep her in my gaze.
I won’t even have to start up a fight.

The next night in another town,
I see her standing there,
And more cock blockers trying
To ruin this love affair.
I only bet on love and lust,
‘Cause you know I’ll always win.

‘Cause no man’s gonna come in between
Me and my woman tonight.
I’ll hit the stage, set my guitar ablaze.
Not reason to put up a fight.
Track Name: Your Fine Self
You’re coming with me, and you won’t return.
I’ll take you away. In the fire, we’ll burn.
Tonight is the end to all you’ve ever known.
I will not quit till all my love is shown.

Oh, I think you’re so fine.
In my dreams, already made you mine.
Cast my spell on your heart.
Spin my web around you.
I’m a love machine; nothing you can do.
I think you’ve stolen my heart,
Your fine self tearing
My whole wide world apart.
Track Name: Mysterium Mulieris
Pretty woman,
You’re a strange one.
You know, you make me wanna
Crawl up the wall, oh yeah.
Don’t understand you.
Can’t hardly stand you.
You make me feel just like
A kick in the balls again.

Don’t get me wrong, now.
All you ladies know I love you;
But when it just comes to push,
I’d rather shove you off a cliff, bitch.

There are things that I just don’t got,
But if I buy her dinner,
I can put my finger on it.
Track Name: Big Cup O' Tea
Nail me to the sun and snort my ashes
Like a Florida bathroom parade.
Take me to the moon, where dogs pay taxes,
And the king wears a loincloth,
And the robbers are paid.

I take my soda with essence of tree.
Someone get me a beetle to ride.
Somebody make me a big cup of tea
With a lake and an ocean inside.

Life on the streets is hard
When you got a house.
Strife on the elites is hard
When you hot a grouse.

I swear, that door hates me.
I swear, that whore dates me.
Track Name: When I Was a Chile
Long ago, when I was young,
I lived across from a corner slum.
Schoolyard was not much fun
With the needles and damage done.
One night, dreaming, I was in my bed.
Heard a scratching and was filled with dread.
A giant beetle was behind my bunk,
And the sky had turned to blood.

Heard a noise, so I peeked outside.
There was a car pulling in my drive.
Thing was older than the sands of time,
And the driver stepped inside.
Was an old man with a walking stick,
Straw hat, dusty suit. I felt sick.
When I cracked the blind,
His icy gaze caught mine.
It was then I realized
It was the devil himself outside.
Track Name: Jerry
Poor Jerry. I dropped him in the drink today.
Fresh logs went swimming with his circuitry.

Damn! Right from my pants.
Damn! He never stood a chance.
Poor Jerry. Put him in a bag of rice.
Poor Jerry was my favourite device.

Sometimes, I forget and call him up again.
Sometimes, I confess, I can hear him ringing.

Poor Jerry. I dropped him in my drink I say.
Poor Jerry. He’s the second one I lost that way.

Jerry was my friend, and I spoke to him all the time.
Jerry, now he’s dead, hanging up on my fishing line.

Oh Jerry, with you, my days were merry;
Now I’m using the home line again.
Oh buddy, spent all that fucking money.
Guess I gotta work the weekends to ten.
Track Name: Hole in the Ground
One fifth mile into granite hidden;
Garden of Eden to Megawatt heaven.

Down in the bowels of Labrador
Dwells an ode to leaders of yore.
The mighty Churchill falls no more,
Save for the souls to the company store.
Back in forty nine, Joey Smallwood cast a line
To catch the river old as time.
So birthed man’s marvel so sublime,
And split Earth Mother of Shaman kind.
In four years after nineteen-sixty-seven,
Man and machine spawned turbines eleven.
Track Name: Junior
You’re out playing your games.
You’re out taking your names.
You’re just a text book case.
You’re just a naughty boy.
You’re just crowding my space,
So just get out of my face.
You’re just a naughty boy.

Oh boy, oh don’t you test me.
I’m gonna rip it up.
You better believe it.
I’m gonna tear it up
When you walk away.

You keep on placing the blame
It’s done, but you’re just the same.
Won’t be forgetting your name,
You little naughty boy.
You’re just crowding my space,
So just get back in your place,
You little naughty boy.

It’s just the same old story,
Just the same old thing.
You know you want it right now.
You know you want it, right?

Fucking bitch!
Track Name: It's Gonna Hurt
Today’s okay, ‘cause you got the right greeting.
Hallelujah to you, but you won’t like our meeting.
The needle is poised, and they’re holding you down.
“God is watching!” but your mind’s out of town.

You move, it’s gonna hurt.
That’s why we’re holding you down.

Injection successful; we don’t hit the bone.
Lady down the hall calls the cops on the phone.
She’s got issues for the 911.
Alien’s in womb, but nobody comes.

Up, you jump, right into my face.
Be back in a month to re-medicate.
Track Name: Spokes
Dad surprised me with a cool green bike.
Was made for girls, but it was modified.
His buds at Bell in the welding shop
Had made a crossbar and it fucking rocked.
Off to Sophie’s and Mr. Ming’s
To buy them hockey cards
With hard gummy things.
Kingsdale Avenue crossing Willowdale;
Massive hockey games and Molson Golden Ale.
Every afternoon, weekends rain or shine,
I’d hit the jumps on that green machine ‘o mine.
Gumper Worsely and Stan Makita
Under the clothespeg taped to my speeder,
Like Bobby Orr and Normie Ullman.
Never fucked with Davie Keon.
Spent my quarters, spent my dimes
From giving that Fairlane five hundred a shine.
A couple of cards clamped just right
In the spokes made a greenie motorbike.
Bobby Hull, Phil Esposito,
Johnny Bucyk, Alex Delvecchio,
Roger Crozier and Rod Gilbert
All fell victim to those rumbling
Spokes down there.

Yeah, bitch.
Track Name: Wine and Me
Time for my wine and me.
Fair warning’s all I need.
You went away,
And the seeds were sown.
I try to make it on my own.

Always by my side,
The blood I’ll be tasting.
You walk away,
And I won’t be chasing.

Tonight, my wine and me
Going down in flames;
That’s where I want to be.
You went away,
And the seeds were sown.
I try to make it on my own.

Always by my side,
The blood I’ll be tasting.
You walk away,
And I won’t be changing.

I know where I’m gonna stay.
I found what I need to get away.
You can step right out my door.
Maybe then, I’ll see the light of day.

Tonight, my wine and me
Forever bound; that’s the way it be.
Track Name: My Momma Told Me
Moonlight dreamer in a night moon trance.
My momma told me you gotta take a chance.
She never told me how; “your soul, they’ll try to take it.
Don’t waste your time, just go and make it.”

My momma told me, “when my days are nearly done,
You better be a man. Live your dreams, be number one.”
I’ll still deliver when the thrill’s gone away,
Remember what she said till my dying day.